She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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