Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
