Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
