its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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