Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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