I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize