party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
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