I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
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