i barfeds in our rink
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
