Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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