guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Bring me that man meat
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize