Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
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