It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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