I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
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