i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
