yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You're like the curious george of whores
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
