need another drink. this is the easiest way
I could have mohawked her pubes.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
