Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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