The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
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