I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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