So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
