i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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