The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Holy sore nipples Batman
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
