They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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