remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
How's work?
Spinning.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
