I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize