I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize