i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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