Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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