haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
