No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
