My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
