Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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