By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
