I have demons in me.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
