Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
