look no pants
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
