You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
