So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Don't tell me you're on acid again
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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