did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
then he tried to convert me to islam
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
