Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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