What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
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