I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
