Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
