Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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