Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
