I want to stick my p in your. b.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
