So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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