I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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