We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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