Apparently you make a good broom.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
