8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
