trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
