I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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