I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
