He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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