so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
