About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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