Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Randomize
